U06d1 Compare and Contrast – Princess Campbell Inquisitively, how does one compare and contrast a stage in life which they have only entered not more than three or four years ago? Is it merely a challenge of accepting the views of reality as they skew further from the idealistic transitions that one use to see as inevitable? I myself see this current stage of young adulthood as one where only a glimpse of my reality is parallel to my ideals. At age 25, as discussed in the unit 2 topic of life stage summary, I have recently conquered my identity crisis.
Knowing who you are is definitely a key transitional trait in moving forward in life’s stages and seeking intimacy as a means of progression. I for one have skipped the “quarter life crisis” of emerging adulthood as described by Robbins (Robbins, 2004) and remained autonomous and independent of my parents financially since I was 19. I vowed as a child to never move back into my parent’s home. It just seemed like taking steps backwards. However, I do view my parents as a “safe-haven” for events that may occur in my future that are unseen and may disrupt my life (Crandell, Crandell, & Zanden, 2009).
From a woman’s perspective, I would have to agree with Rokach that most of my self-worth is centered on family and offspring (Rokach, 1999). My ideals are still the “old fashion” values. I thought I would leave home, go to college, find a job, husband, have kids, buy a house, and get a dog. Live the true dream of a woman in love. However, living life is a lesson in itself. Searching for a mate can be challenging when you have already set certain goals and aspirations for yourself. During this crisis of intimacy versus isolation; I find my self at times on both sides of the fence.
There are days where I’m surrounded by the ones I love and who reciprocate that love. Then there are times when I find myself rather alone and distant from family; or in able to share true intimacy in fear of poor mate selection and the outcome of children before marriage. It seems as though I fit a twenty-first century view of an emerging new path to adulthood. Generational advances such as birth control and an increased opportunity for women in education and career have influenced my path of a college degree/career first, and spouse and children second.
Yet now that I’m at a point where I desire those tangents of what use to define womanhood, the fear of mate selection and time constraints have me worried that my ideals will occur later in life than I anticipate. Being married by or close to 30 seems like it may be more unrealistic than expected. In the work place, I once found myself on a career path I thought would secure me until my credentials were established to work in the school system as a counselor. Although, here again, reality outweighed the ideal.
It was a non-normative life event that proved my millennial generation traits to be extremely true. On Christmas Day of 2009 I was in a near fatal car accident along with my eldest sibling that changed a lot in my life. The most significant was career related. According to Crandell et al. (2009), my generational trait would have me to expect my environment to adapt to my needs. Upon my return to work I was facing demotion and a severe salary cut. After 5 plus years of dedication to a company during my undergrad, they kicked me at my lowest moment.
Because of the large amount of sacrifice I devoted to this job, I felt a sense of betrayal from that company. As a result, I left that job, received unemployment, and used that money to start my own company; hiring friends as employees as reported by Jayson in 2006 as a reflection of my millennial generation. Transitioning through this early adulthood stage is one of many obstacles that once seemed like mere bliss. As an adolescent I remember anxiously awaiting a time where I could make my own decisions and come and go as I please. Those were temporary emotions.
Theorists note that the developmental task of identity, intimacy, generativity, and integrity may be particularly intense during specific periods throughout adulthood and may take different forms in different ages of adults (Zucker, Ostrove, & Stewart, 2002). I am sure that some perspective of my views may change over the next stage of my life; as development is constant throughout the lifespan. However, the root values that I hold to be dear shall not; as that is the consistency that stays with me and defines who I am. Crandell, T. L. , Crandell, C. H. & Vander Zanden, J. W. (2009). Human development (9th ed. ). Boston: McGraw-Hill Higher Education. Robbins, A. (2004). Conquering your quarter life crisis: Advice from twentysomethings who have been there and survived. New York: Penguin Putnam. Rokach, A. (1999). Cultural background and coping with loneliness. Journal of Psychology, 133(2), 217-229. Zucker, A. , Ostrove, J. , & Stewart, A. (2002). College-educated women’s personality development in adulthood: Perceptions and age differences. Psychology and Aging, 17(2), 236-244. doi:10. 1037/0882-7974. 17. 2. 236.